1. Let’s get one thing straight: DJing isn’t just dropping bangers and keeping the vibes alive. Sometimes, it means fielding the wildest human interactions while pretending like your headphones are blocking out nonsense. So today, we’re taking a break from the serious tech talk to dive into some real club-life chaos: the weirdest times I’ve been hit on behind the decks.

1. "Play My Song and I’ll Love You Forever" Girl

It started with a polite request. Then another. Then a third, with her leaning over the booth like she was ordering tacos at 3AM. She promised me her heart, her Snap, and possibly her entire tax return if I played one Doja Cat song. I told her, "I’ll slide it in the mix." She took that way too literally. The song got played. I did not slide into anything.

2. Rom-Com Bro Who Thought We Locked Eyes

There I am, cueing up the next track, laser-focused. Suddenly this dude walks up, full confidence like he just walked out of a Hallmark movie. "I saw you looking at me when you dropped that last track," he said, with a wink. Bro, I was staring at the BPM counter. Calm down.

3. Birthday Girl Takeover Attempt

She was already three tequila shots past coherent. "It’s my birthdayyyy! Let me DJ one song!" she screamed, grabbing the mic. I gently declined. She proceeded to dedicate a Cardi B song to me, said we were soulmates, and asked for my number in front of her boyfriend, who was nodding along like this was normal.

4. Phone Number Napkin Rainstorm

This one was subtle. A girl started handing me napkins with her number on them. Like five of them. I thought she wanted to reserve a table or something. Then I realized she was just giving me options. Zero tips, five phone numbers. Felt like I was back in high school but worse because I still didn’t text any of them.

5. "You Played This Song for Me, Didn’t You?"

Ah yes, the delusional romantic. I played a breakup anthem. She came up teary-eyed and whispered, "You played this for me, right?" Girl, this is Usher’s confessions — it ain’t that deep.

Outro: Look, DJs are used to chaos. We thrive in it. But nothing throws you off your groove like a surprise love confession mid-transition. To everyone out there: we love the energy, we love the support... but maybe just send a song request and a smile. And if you do fall in love with the DJ? Maybe wait until they’re not beatmatching.

Until next time, keep it weird.